"The Quotable Cat"

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. (Hippolyte Taine)

With their qualities of cleanliness, discretion, affection, patience, dignity, and courage, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats? (Fernand Mery)

Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. (Gary Smith)

A cat's eyes are windows enabling us to see into another world. (Irish Proverb)

Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it. (Author Unknown)

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. (Dereke Bruce)

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. (Joseph Wood Krutch)

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. (Doug Larson)

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. (Bill Dana)

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. (Mary Bly)

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. (Author Unknown)

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction - and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by. (Stephen Baker)

It's really the cat's house - we just pay the mortgage. (Author Unknown)

Some people own cats and go on to lead normal lives. (Author Unknown)

If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr. (Barbara L. Diamond)

There are people who reshape the world by force or argument, but the cat just lies there, dozing; and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience. (Allen and Ivy Dodd)

No one can have experienced to the fullest the true sense of achievement and satisfaction who has never pursued and successfully caught his tail. (Rosalind Welcher)

Time spent with cats is never wasted. (Colette)

A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatsoever, and generally stopping before it gets there. (Agnes Repplier)

The cat lives alone, has no need of society, obeys only when she pleases, pretends to sleep that she may see the more clearly, and scratches everything on which she can lay her paw. (Francois Rene)

Cats seem to go on the principle that is never does any harm to ask for what you want. (Joseph Wood Krutch)

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. (Sir Winston Churchill)

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. (Bruce Graham)

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. (Author Unknown)

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. (Jules Verne)

They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, Can he name a kitten? (Samuel Butler)

The more people I meet the more I like my cat. (Anonymous)

An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old. (Carl Van)

Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety-valve device for dealing with happiness overflow. (Monica Edwards)

Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not conformists. How could they be, with a cat running their lives? (Louis J.)

Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow. (George F.)

There is, indeed, no single quality of the cat that man could not emulate to his advantage. (Carl Van)

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. (Robert A.)

Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish. (James Gorman)

The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. (P.G. Wodehouse)

Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. (Jim Davis)

Are cats lazy? Well, more power to them if they are. Which one of us has not entertained the dream of doing just as he likes, when and how he likes, and as much as he likes? (Fernand Mery)

Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons. (Robertson Davies)

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. (Anonymous)

Happiness is like a cat sleeping on your lap. You can't force it to come to you and you can't force it to stay with you. (Pierre Foglia)

The real measure of a day's heat is the length of a sleeping cat. (Charles J. Brady)

The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don't buy love for nothing. (William S. Burroughs)

One of the ways in which cats show happiness is by sleeping. (Cleveland Amory)

A cat allows you to sleep on the bed. On the edge. (Jenny De Vries)

Cats have it all - admiration and an endless sleep and company only when they want it. (Rod McKuen)

You can't look at a sleeping cat and be tense. (Jane Pauley)

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime. (Mark Twain)

Never try to teach a cat to sing. It wastes your time, and it annoys the cat. (Mark Twain)

Life with a cat is in certain ways a one-sided proposition. Cats are not educable; humans are. Moreover, cats know this. If you are not willing to humor them, you might as well stick to dogs. (Terry Teachout)

A cat will assume the shape of its container. (Author Unknown)

A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not. (Ernest Hemingway)

Before a cat will condescend to treat you as a trusted friend, some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream. (T. S. Eliot)

Garfield's Law: Cats instinctively know the precise moment their owners will awaken... then they awaken them ten minutes sooner. (Jim Davis)

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. (Abraham Lincoln)

Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, "I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?" (Bette Midler)

Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat. (Sir Julian Huxley)

It’s hard to concentrate on the work at hand when a kitten is playing at your feet. (Author Unknown)

A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it. (Henry David Thoreau)

If you want to know the character of a man, find out what his cat thinks of him. (Anonymous)

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. (Colette)

What greater gift than the love of a cat? (Charles Dickens)

Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large, multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any directions. It comes completely assembled and it makes a sound when you jump on it. (Stephen Baker)

If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will find it and soak it up. (Jean Asper McIntosh)

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. (Leo Dworken)

Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body. (Erma Bombeck)

A dog will sit beside you while you work; a cat will sit on your work. (Pam Brown).

My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. (Anonymous)

In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats. (English Proverb)

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. (Albert Schweitzer)

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. (Missy Dizick)

Dogs have masters, cats have staff. (Author Unknown)

The cat loves fish, but hates wet feet. (Medieval Proverb)

Beware of people who dislike cats. (Irish Proverb)

I gave an order to a cat, and the cat gave it to its tail. (Chinese Proverb)

Thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods, and the judge of words, and the president of the sovereign chiefs and the governor of the holy Circle; thou art indeed the Great Cat. (Inscription on the Royal Tomb at Thebes)

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